{"title":"Mercantile","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"224\" data-end=\"303\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"228\" data-end=\"303\"\u003eDr. Foshay’s Mercantile: Everything You Need, Nothing You Actually Need\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"319\"\u003eMercantile\u003c\/strong\u003e means “relating to merchants or trade,” and also “that old-school mercantilism thing where nations hoarded gold like dragons.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"581\"\u003eHere at \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"478\"\u003eFoshay Mercantile\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e, we fully honor that noble tradition by selling… well… whatever ridiculous nonsense we can think up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"867\"\u003eWe keep a wide, wild selection of novelty gifts, funny gag items, and parody products ranging from Exercise Block to Pursuing Zen. Need toothpicks? Great—because these are carve-your-own toothpicks. Some assembly required. (As in… all assembly required.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003eMaybe you’re shopping for a can of \u003cem\u003eWhoop-Ass\u003c\/em\u003e, perfect for when people aren’t acting right. There’s always that one guy at work with a smart mouth. And why does he always drive a Camaro? Is the Camaro linked to the smart mouth? Is it genetic? Mechanical? Cosmic? Who knows—but a can of Whoop-Ass can’t hurt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003eAt Foshay Mercantile, you’ll find funny gifts, sarcasm-heavy joke items, prank products, quirky novelty goods, and gag merchandise that make absolutely zero sense… which is exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"eb1","title":"EB1 Exercise Block","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in .0001pt .25in;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;\"\u003eWhen your already fit and just need impressive number to tell your friends and neighbors but don’t want to lie. You put the block down on the ground and then walk around the block as many times as you need to until you have an impressive number.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Plywood block 1-1\/2\" x 1-1\/2\" x 3\/8\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOriented Strand Board \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeets the highest grading standards for strength and appearance\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo core voids, knots or splits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensionally stable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConsistent quality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSourced from a third party certified to sustainable forestry initiative\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping! \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39464320073985,"sku":"EB1","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/EB1_30775f4a-5685-42fa-82d7-20f66dffa535.jpg?v=1632765449"},{"product_id":"tp1","title":"TP1 Toothpicks","description":"\u003cp\u003eEver wonder where your toothpicks really come from? Some of them just don’t feel… trustworthy. That’s why TP1 exists—because when it comes to tiny wooden essentials, you want only the “finest” materials (or at least a good laugh about it). A quirky novelty gag gift that pokes fun at overthinking the little things. Perfect for friends, coworkers, or anyone who enjoys a slightly ridiculous conspiracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUntreated premium lumber\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 block 2-5\/8\" x 1-5\/8\" X 1\/4\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSourced from commercially grown tree farms\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFor interior or exterior use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePaintable, stainable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLow dust\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping! \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39464428634369,"sku":"TP1","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/TP1_82791b1f-106c-485b-aeea-cd9d0a18da47.jpg?v=1632777566"},{"product_id":"wa1","title":"WA1 Can of Whoopass","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"142\" data-end=\"463\"\u003e100% Grade A Whoop-Ass—locally sourced and ready when you need it (or at least when you need a laugh). This classic novelty gag gift \u003cem data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"310\"\u003eclaims\u003c\/em\u003e to deliver the good stuff, but in reality, it’s all about humor. Perfect for friends, coworkers, or anyone who enjoys a bold joke with a playful edge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLabel Only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e5 labels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan is not included\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in America \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39464432009473,"sku":"WA1","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/WA1_cb395dc0-5c27-4664-b99a-0def448571d3.jpg?v=1632777668"},{"product_id":"puez7-pursuing-zen","title":"PUEZ7 Wavy lines in a circle 4 stones","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRocks not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43010975465729,"sku":"PUEZ7","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ7.jpg?v=1655780337"},{"product_id":"purz1-wavy-lines","title":"PURZ1\tWavy lines","description":"\u003cp\u003eFeeling like something’s missing? 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A perfect gag gift for friends, coworkers, or anyone chasing tranquility the easy way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581364699393,"sku":"PURZ1","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ1.jpg?v=1668656175"},{"product_id":"copy-of-puez7-pursuing-zen","title":"PURZ2\tCurved wavy lines w\/row of 4 stones","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRocks not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581368926465,"sku":"PURZ2","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ2.jpg?v=1668656281"},{"product_id":"copy-of-purz2-curved-wavy-lines-w-row-of-4-stones","title":"PURZ3\tBuddha and Rake","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;\"\u003eHave you already achieved tranquility and harmony I mean you have the ribbons on your wall that say so. But Zen is alluding you and with our kit PURZ3 Budda and Rake you’ll be saying\u003cspan style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003e“Om Mani Padme Hum” in no time. Then again it is all just a hoodwink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuddha, rake and rock not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581369843969,"sku":"PURZ3","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ3.jpg?v=1668656357"},{"product_id":"copy-of-purz3-buddha-and-rake","title":"PURZ4\tWavy lines in a circle 3 stone stack","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRocks not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581376528641,"sku":"PURZ4","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ4_04bae1da-baf6-44ee-8125-35e7e8fa8d5b.jpg?v=1668656600"},{"product_id":"copy-of-purz4-wavy-lines-in-a-circle-3-stone-stack","title":"PURZ5\tTan Sand 6 stones \u0026 Buddha","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuddha \u0026amp; rocks not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581378756865,"sku":"PURZ5","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ5_cc6be160-3017-476f-90d4-caa1fcda089f.jpg?v=1668669921"},{"product_id":"copy-of-purz5-tan-sand-6-stones-buddha","title":"PURZ6\tWavy lines and plant","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDr. Foshay Premium Aggregate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximately 1 Table Spoon of All-Natural Play Sand, not manufactured\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlant not included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct may vary in color and texture by region\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis is a screened, washed, and dried sand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustom crafted label 3-1\/3” x 4” in a 5” x 7” bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in America\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree shipping!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"DrFoshay","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43581384458497,"sku":"PURZ6","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/products\/PURZ6.jpg?v=1668656949"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/0190\/7457\/collections\/Mercantile_hero.jpg?v=1775610022","url":"https:\/\/drfoshay.com\/collections\/mercantile\/funny-coworker-gift.oembed","provider":"DrFoshay.com","version":"1.0","type":"link"}