Mercantile

Dr. Foshay’s Mercantile: Everything You Need, Nothing You Actually Need

Mercantile means “relating to merchants or trade,” and also “that old-school mercantilism thing where nations hoarded gold like dragons.”

Here at Foshay Mercantile, we fully honor that noble tradition by selling… well… whatever ridiculous nonsense we can think up.

We keep a wide, wild selection of novelty gifts, funny gag items, and parody products ranging from Exercise Block to Pursuing Zen. Need toothpicks? Great—because these are carve-your-own toothpicks. Some assembly required. (As in… all assembly required.)

Maybe you’re shopping for a can of Whoop-Ass, perfect for when people aren’t acting right. There’s always that one guy at work with a smart mouth. And why does he always drive a Camaro? Is the Camaro linked to the smart mouth? Is it genetic? Mechanical? Cosmic? Who knows—but a can of Whoop-Ass can’t hurt.

At Foshay Mercantile, you’ll find funny gifts, sarcasm-heavy joke items, prank products, quirky novelty goods, and gag merchandise that make absolutely zero sense… which is exactly the point.