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Elixirs

  • a magical or medicinal potion

Numbers a problem? Is math difficult? I mean, climbing Mount Everest hard? Does 2+2=6 for you!? Not to worry with Professor Calculous Foshay's Magical Numerical Superiority pills. You'll have your checkbook swimming laps in no time. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

BN1 Bad at Numbers
Has the Fonz left your body? Did you lose your cool card unexpectedly? Do you own a Jeep but have to buy a Tesla to flex your lit? Do you have trouble keeping your cool awesome? Not to worry, we can permanently attach your cool. Dr. Dope Foshay has the Gucci pill for you. Limb detachment potential side-effect. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

COOL1 Want to be Cool
CURS1 Cursed by a Witch

CURS1 Cursed by a Witch
When you dance, is it like “a full body dry heave set to music?” Is Elaine from Seinfeld your idol? Is Steve Urkel your best friend? When you say let's dance, do your friends reply "God, no". When you’re gyrating on the floor, do you hear people say, "make it stop” and “the horror the horror". Dr. Disco Foshay has just the rhythm pill for you. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

DAN1 Can't Dance
If you drop stuff on the ground, do you shrug and move on because it's lost forever? If you end up on the floor, are you like a turtle on its back trying to get up? Is putting on your socks now an Olympic gymnastics event? Is Nadia Comăneci just a bendy bitch? Dr. Gumby Foshay has the flexibility pills for you. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

FLEX1 Want to be Flexible
FRIC1 Friends won't answer texts

FRIC1 Friends won't answer texts
HERCP1 Detective Extordiany

HERCP1 Detective Extordiany
Want to be a Hobbit? Think thick tufts of hair on the top of your feet is extra sexy? Always knew second breakfast was in your future? Want to live partially underground with a round door? Craving the Nicotiana Long Bottom Leaf? Dr. Took Baggins Proudfoot Foshay has just the Elevenses Meal for you. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

HOB1 Want to be a Hobbit
Are you unfunny? Do people laugh at you instead of with you? Do you feel your funny got a raw deal? Get a sense of humor. Humorist Ludicrous Foshay has got the pill for you. Pills must be consumed while simultaneously rubbing the funny bone of a successful professional comedian. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

HUM1 Get a Sense of Humor
Do you have that friend who needs to control everything? Does happiness piss you off, Karen? Does she always get her way by complaining?! I want to see the Manager! NOW! Manager, Manager! Dr. Tranquil Foshay has the pill to sooth your inner Karen. Harmony and joy not included and sold separately. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

KAR1 Karen
Find that you like oppressing & enslaving people? Is intimidation the best? Like to speak in a deep throaty voice? Do you crave to be Mephistopheles? Am I right, or what? Dr. Demonicas Foshay has just the foul soul torturing pill for you. Must stand in a pentagram while consuming pills to work. Conjuring Demons is inherently dangerous and not recommended for children under the ages of 16. This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

MEP1 Want to be the Devil
Do you have that friend who is into everything pepper? A pepper-head? Their idea of Mardi Gras beads is a bunch of Jalapenos on a string? Can they give you a detailed explanation of the difference between New Mexico Hatch and Colorado Pueblo Chiles? Is everything they make super-hot? If it burns down to your soul and makes you cry like a baby do, they just call you a pussy? Dr. Carolina Reaper Foshay has the pill to turn them into a milky red-headed child who can't handle the pain. Payback baby!

PEP1 Pepper-Head
Do pets growl insistently at you for no good reason? Do they stare you down with the burning fiery hatred of a thousand red-hot suns? If you go near its owner, will they unleash an Armageddon of destruction? Dr. Animal Planet Foshay has the precious Peta pill for you. After consumption, the animals love will be so intense you'll need hump-proof pants. And as a bonus, you’ll become a Vegan! This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

PET1 Pets Hate You
Are you tired of being left on hold? Is there no Wi-Fi signal? Are you pissed when your coffee gets old? Is waiting in line just the worst? Do mean people suck? Does getting sick in Summer bite? Does it blow when you’ve been wasting time on the wrong person all along? And math, ew! Dr. Glorious Foshay can't fix any of these problems but we've got a pill to make you not give a shit!! This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

PROB1 Problems
ROCKS1 Rock Star Man

ROCKS1 Rock Star Man
ROCKS2 Rock Star Bad Ass

ROCKS2 Rock Star Bad Ass
ROCKS3 Rock Star Girl

ROCKS3 Rock Star Girl
ROCKS4 Rock Star Woman

ROCKS4 Rock Star Woman
ROCKS5 Rock Star Boy

ROCKS5 Rock Star Boy
SAM1 Want to be a Secret Agent Man

SAM1 Want to be a Secret Agent Man
SAW2 Want to be a Secret Agent Woman

SAW2 Want to be a Secret Agent Woman
Are you an over-sleeper? Is the snooze button just a joystick on a shitty arcade game called "just 5 more minutes?” Is waking up late your default position? Dr. Punctual Foshay has the expeditious pill for you. Pills must be consumed while wearing a wrist watch and rubbing a day planner. Wrist watch and day planner not included and sold separately. DrFoshay.com This product is intended for novelty and entertainment purposes only. Dr. Foshay is not a licensed medical professional

SLEP1 Over-Sleeper
VIKF2 Want to be a Viking Female

VIKF2 Want to be a Viking Female
VIKM1 Want to be a Viking Male

VIKM1 Want to be a Viking Male