The Foshay Story

This history has been recounted from generation to generation and cannot be independently verified. But I did the best I could with the World Wide Web. The Foshays have a long and storied past. We trace our history back to Ezbon Augustus Fouschier, who was the Sommelier to His Imperial and Royal Majesty Napoleon I, by the Grace of God and the Constitution of the Republic, Emperor of the French, King of Italy, Protector of the Confederation of the Rhine, Mediator of the Swiss Confederation and Co-Prince of Andorra. The Emperor Napoleon was a little short on cash, and with war impending Ezbon suggested the sale of Louisiana to Thomas Jefferson but he got no credit for that. One of the Emperor’s favorite champagnes was Moët. At the end of the war, Moët had a little problem.

Cellars throughout the Champagne region were plundered, the worst being those of Moët, which saw six hundred thousand bottles emptied by Russian soldiers camped on the premises. Moët didn’t panic. Instead, he recalled an old French proverb: “Qui a bu, boira” or “He who has drunk once will drink again.” “All of those soldiers who are ruining me today will make my fortune tomorrow,” Moët said, “I’m letting them drink all they want. They will be hooked for life and become my best salesmen when they go back to their own country.”

Alcohol was one of the first therapeutics. Understanding the benefits of alcohol is key: “The Puritans called alcohol the “Good Creature of God,” a holy substance to be taken proudly. It is also reported to increase overall happiness, euphoria, conviviality and carefree feelings to improve certain types of cognitive performance.”

This was the beginning of the Foshay Families fascination with restoratives and curatives.

After the end of the war of English aggression at Waterloo, the Foshays immigrated to Canada in the New Brunswick area. The Fauchey’s (our name got accidently changed when we immigrated) were bottling and selling the local Lakes water for its healing properties as a curative elixir (with a little extra “something” added to give it a kick). The locals were so impressed by our ingenuity they named a lake after Jean D’Arcy Fauchey. https://mapcarta.com/24257806 But, the Official on the Geographical Names Board of Canada was hard of hearing like my dad. So, he just spelled it Foshay since it was easier to pronounce and hear. We did stay for a while in the Great White North, but then Jean got the wanderlust and visited his very distant cousin Devil Anse Hatfield in West Virginia. But Devil seemed to have a dispute going with his neighbor over a pig or something so Jean high-tailed it out of there before the shooting started.

We then traveled all of America with our restorative elixir to bring the health benefits directly to the people. We have always been a fan of direct appeal to the people (it cuts down on that red tape and all. Wink wink).

Sol Purdy Foshay took up the family business and was travelling and selling his wares in Deadwood City. He happened to be relaxing at a card game with his friend William Hickok when a disgruntled, no-good, low down, back-shooting sore loser Jack McCall shot Hickok in the back. Well, Dr. Foshay’s elixir is good, but not gunshot good.

Sol continued his business, but a dirty rotten scoundrel by the name of Clark Stanley stole the family recipe, renamed it, and boasted some wild ass claims. “Clarke Stanley’s Snake Oil Liniment - The strongest and best liniment known for pain and lameness. Used externally only for: rheumatism, neuralgia, sciatica, lame back, lumbago, tooth aches, sprains, swells, etc. Also, for: frostbite, sore throat, bites of animals, insects and reptiles. Good for man and beast. It’s good for everything a liniment ought to be good for”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clark_Stanley

Honestly, the nerve of some pole cats! Stealing another man’s hard-earned labor and reputation. Hearing of this travesty of justice, cousin Wilbur B. Foshay went into the utilities sector instead of the family business. He was able to build his fortune buying utilities in the early 20^th century in the Midwest. He then rolled over each of his purchases into the next to create an empire. The culmination of his work is the Foshay Tower, a skyscraper in Minneapolis Minnesota boasting a hotel, bar, multiple restaurants and museum. And just may be haunted by Wilbur B. Foshay himself. The building is modeled after the Washington Monument, and it was completed in 1929, just months before the stock market crash in October of that year. https://salidamuseum.org/history/wibur-foshay/

After years of research, study and decades of travel abroad with holy men, sages, druids, witch doctors, healers, mystics, gurus and shamans, the hard-won knowledge is finally acquired. I, Dr. Pilule Vendeur Foshay, have revived the family business and will at long last reclaim our good name. Now, at DrFoshay.com I bring you these elixirs and curatives that I have been able to purify, refine, extract and distill down into a non-alcoholic pill form. This results in easier shipment and consumption for your personal enjoyment and restorative.