Restorative

Dr. Foshay’s Restoratives: Miracle Strength for the Hopelessly Hopeless

Restoratives are “having the ability to restore health, strength, or a feeling of well-being.” And here at Dr. Foshay’s, we can “restore” pretty much any problem you’ve got and have you up, out of bed, and right again in no time.

Perhaps you’re a super shiny chrome dome? Maybe you’re height impaired, vertically challenged, or differently height capable. Let’s just be honest—you’re short. At the grocery store, you need a stranger to grab the good coffee off the top shelf for you.

Do your sales suck at work? Is the brand-new 18-year-old kid outselling you even though you’re a 20-year veteran? Are you carrying a little pudge? Need to drop some extra weight? Always dreamed of being Super-Fit?

Well, we’ve got a Restorative novelty pill that’ll fix all these problems and more. (Except the part where you’re being duped—because let’s be real, it’s a gag gift, a parody cure, a joke product, a certified con job.)

What’s wrong with you? Do you take long walks off short piers? Either way, we’ve got the funniest novelty gifts and restorative gag pills this side of sanity.